Its nearly been a Month...

To be honest, I don't have much to say... Nothing exciting to announce or anything.

We moved on the 26th, slept on the cold floor as our truck didn't make it.

Paul started on the 1st. Took awhile to get internet back up.

I weighed myself for the first time in ages yesterday arvo... 111.8kg not to bad.

Re-weighed myself this morning... 111.2kg WOOHOO... Nothing to be ashamed about. Considering I haven't been doing much exercise until yesterday... Infact I had been super lazy.

Now I am just really hoping that if I get moving heaps my Period will rear her head finally. A normal cycle for me is about 24 days... Currently we are up to.... DRUM ROLL... DAY 42... No I am not pregnant that dream and hope was dashed by neg bloods last week. I have had swaps taken and all come back normal... So the doctor has no clue yet again!!!

Well lets hope getting moving is the answer :)

Whoops its been 3 weeks!

In that time I have had ups and downs, and turn arounds.

Maybe I am just not really into blogging at the moment.

And that I have been Busy getting this up and running...

Blog For New Ideas - Its going really well too... I have had a few things sell and its been really heart warming =}

We move on Friday morning (well we will follow our stuff that is going Thursday - Pauls last day of work)

Exciting beginnings to our new place. It will be like going home. One of my friends have already booked me for babysitting the first Saturday we are back and has told me we are staying the night! That Wednesday will be pay day and my friends have me booked solid for a week.

Once we get up there, I will be buying a Gym Membership in Te Aroha (only 8kms away) and a bike. The goal there is to bike to the gym and workout then bike home.

I am really looking forward to this move and its getting closer and closer.... YAY!

Right I did a weigh in this morning...
111.0kg was the last Official weight...
That climbed to 113.2kg during the week after the leaving party and other things.

But then that changed after working hard.

This mornings Official Weight is 110.3kg!
I have so far lost 7.2kg... Slow and Steady =}
As my Ozzie mates say "Mad Awesome"

A Very Good Week!

Make Sure You Check This Out!!! - Its a Link to Pauls Blog my hunny bun x

Pulling in some good result this week x Super Stoked!

Something New and Shiny!

I am a fatty - But I am working on that haha!

Amazing Results!

Progress Pictures!

After yesterday and the mock weigh in at 4.02pm showing 115.1kg I was scared, so I kicked my ass!


So Check out the new results for today!

I am super stoked!

Bring on Zumba and the walk today!

Crap, Crap and Crap!

I have been so slack lately and its starting to show!
I just weighed myself (4.02pm) hangover, but exercised out!

115.1kg OUCH!

However this was this morning weigh in and measurement!

Tomorrow I will be re-doing it after a sleep and not so hungover!

Shhh The Universe is Speaking....

I have lots of little things going on at the moment, and one really good friend I can turn to for all of it...
She has some fantastic insight into life and is really good at kicking ass!

She puts things into prospective for me and shows me different ways of thinking...
Tina is that she and believes in the Universe which is completely new to me...

I am a god fearing believing Christian and at first it was really hard not to knock her off as a willy wolly, but since really talking to her and getting to know her I have found that she has some really great advice that comes from the heart.

I believe we travel through life and things get chucked in to make it interesting, and all this means we get to be where we are today, the good, not so good, the beautiful and the freaking ugly!

So all 112.6kg of me are suppose to be here, but I hate this badge of where I have been, so now my badge is going to be of where it is going...!

Thanks Tina Weaner!

I Hurt And Hurt Real Bad...

Stop cows... next time squash another cow into the fence and not me!!!

Anyways I am super happy... After yesterday my mumma keeps emailing and that's super cool, although the circumstances for the start up wasn't so great, my dadda had another stroke. But made it clear to the whole family that he wants contact with me and he will have it =}

I haven't been the greatest on the eating right thing, but want to get back into and I will... I can so I can do it!!!

Time to kick my bum unless Trish wants to do it haha!

Attitude Is A Decision...

Progress Pictures....

 92kg - 86.8kg (more muscle too YUM)

117.5kg - 110kg 

Can YOU see the Difference?

New Weeks Are Awesome =)

Back from the doctors, and now awaiting my 3rd lots of bloods results...

I talked to the doctor about everything, and told him about the first text I was sent regarding my 1st bloods and there was a typo, they were at 32, then 85 so now its a waiting game!

Diet was he said I can continue to do what I normally do, just increase the amount a little!

He also said exercise is great for a developing baby so to keep it up!

So now I am making afghans Yum!!

11 days - how slack!

But you will see a fancy new ticker up the top! Now Shhh don't tell anyone haha!

This week, as been a crap... Crap food, Carp decisions, Crap everything!
I really need to get back on track if I want to keep this bubba!

Well  that really is all I have to say atm... Will catch up later!

Paul's Measurements Are Up!!

Paul says:

Its been one of those weeks, been really tired and not sleeping well. Its clearly been shit! But I will get there, I have my beautiful wife to look at for inspiration.

Carrie's Measurements Are In!!!

OMG I have just reached my bust target!!!
105cm loss total 11cm!
I am again fitting my 14DD bras with comfort!

Paul is getting done at lunch LOL...

I only managed to gain 2 cm in waist but I feel thats because my body is re-adjusting from the wicked bitch!

Okay Picture Update!

1/1/2011

Saturday (11/3/2011)

Have I Become Complacent?

I look in the mirror and sigh everyday... I walk past a shop window and sigh...

I use to care what I looked like, I use to take pride in my appearance... I don't think I ever quite knew I had become so complacent in my relief milker/house wife role, until my old friend brought it over salad and coffee at lunch...

"Oh wow, Carrie, you just chucked your hair up and put your sunnies on your head to mask that you haven't even bother brushing it.... and look at what your wearing, 3/4 trackies and an old top..." - Yep I had never noticed, I mean I have been doing that for nearly 3 years... It all started after Paul asked me to marry him... I stopped caring how I looked I had my man!

Lately I have been looking back on my past with Paul, and the rampaging sex life we once had, and the quick fall it had... Round about the time I started gaining weight (not just the depo but the choices I made) and stop presenting myself... I don't blame him... He tells me so much he doesn't care what I look like he still loves me... But I can bet a years wages he does care but loves me too much to tell me!

I mean I no longer work in corporate so I don't care about make up (shit I cant remember the last time I slapped it on!) I chuck on clothes without a thought, I never brush my hair (always a ponytail), I rarely shave haha... and sometimes Paul will pull out the "old" you don't look comfortable in that a.k.a Yeah those pants are WAYYYY to tight! I can't tell you how much my little bubble burst when I hear that...

I know he loves me, but I can't love myself, I *dislike* who I have become, I feel yuck, and lets be serious I need a bloody job (that can't happen til June after we move), I need to be me again... I am tired of Paul, looking at me, and seeing something I don't. I just want him to be sexuality attractive to me again... I want to be attracted to myself! - I mean I can take a photo of myself in a moment of feeling good - see the photo and want to cry, as not even a "my space" photo that gives me the appearance of being sexy/hot/skinny, not such a great feeling... argh help me!

My Theme Song!

I don't know where I'm goin 
but I sure know where I've been 
hanging on the promises in songs of yesterday. 
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time 
but here I go again, here I go again. 

Tho' I keep searching for an answer 
I never seem to find what I'm looking for. 
Oh Lord, I pray you give me strength to carry on 
'cos I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams. 

Here I go again on my own 
goin' down the only road I've ever known. 
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone. 
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time. 

Just another heart in need of rescue 
waiting on love's sweet charity 
an' I'm gonna hold on for the rest of my days 
'cos I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams. 

Here I go again on my own 
goin' down the only road I've ever known. 
Like a hobo I was born to walk alone. 
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time 
but here I go again, here I go again, 
here I go again, here I go. 

An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time. 

Here I go again on my own 
goin' down the only road I've ever known. 
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone 
'cos I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams. 

Here I go again on my own 
goin' down the only road I've ever known. 
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone. 
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time 
but here I go again, here I go again, 
here I go again, here I go, 
here I go again 

Measurements Are Up!

Introducing "Paul's Shrinking Measurements!" - Also I have updated mine :)

Paul also said he can't believe how much water we are drinking he thinks its funny! I believe I have a weirdo for a husband! Oh and guess what Thrifty has less then 1 calorie - so its favour Yummy!

I'm totally feeling it today!

*The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today
Is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips

Then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle.

That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.*

Today I have read the most disgusting lies about a dear friend today... so when I clicked there profile and found out they are Christians, it made me feel for the first time ever to be ashamed to say I am one too...  I just wish I could get up to Auckland to give her the biggest hug... 


Some good news, I have worked off the weekend and I am down to 112.8kgs!
However with that comes the no voice, flu and in pain!


However I just wanted to blog to let my friend know that I LUFF her :)

Ok Its Been A While...

We have been super busy this week, interviews coming out of our ears and the milage us ticking up on the car...

We are currently at Trish's (lovely lady)...

I will update properly on Monday when we are finally home!

Changing For The Better!

Right...

I have added Carrie's Shrinking Measurements (which replaces Weigh In Info) and that shows 28cm loss all up, and a new February MAJOR Goal! It is very exciting indeed! Watching my charts go down and it telling me so is so great :)

I will be adding Paul's Shrinking Measurement tonight when he is home and relaxed.!

Today is my blah day... I worked out my Food Diary this morning, and I will be going over my calorie limit by 557, but with some exercise I should work it off! I haven't had a blah day in so long! I am slightly scared that I will continue this 1 blah day with several but I know that my supports and bum kickers will make sure it doesn't happen!

I had a phone call before, the lady from Waverley rang and said they have got it down to two couple us and another, and they prefer us. I told her we can't make a decision until Sunday night and she accepted that. But we don't really want it at this stage!

No More Mental Brick Wall!

I broken through... It thought it had me beat... But I have one thing it doesn't... SUPPORT!

Thank you to everyone who has me cheering me on! Without you I would have given up for the billionth time! I have been eating healthy for a long time, but lacked on the exercise side, mainly because I couldn't be interested, but I have competition this time and jealously is working wonders (people losing big amounts at one time)...

Truth Be Told!

These were my Goal weight for this weight loss thingy I am doing!
However God played against me, so now I will readjust them below!


112.5kg - 5kg down (this I would love to be by the mid of Feb)!
107.5kg - 10kg down (this I would love to be by the end of Feb)!
102.5kg - 15kg down (this I would love to be by the mid of March)!
97.5kg - 20kg down (this I would love to be by the beginning of April)!
92.5kg - 25kg down (this I would love to be by the end of the May)!
------------------------------------------------------
112.5kg - 5kg down (this I would love to be by the end of Feb)!
107.5kg - 10kg down (this I would love to be by the mid of March)!
102.5kg - 15kg down (this I would love to be by the end of March)!
97.5kg - 20kg down (this I would love to be by the mid of April)!
92.5kg - 25kg down (this I would love to be by the end of the May)!


It is okay to do this, as sometimes our body plays against us!

How Long Is A Piece Of String?

I mean seriously....!

Four phone calls in 45 minutes from the same person, asking for Paul...

When will he be home? Soon I hope! Why don't you know? Because he is on the farm doing stuff, and no I don't know what it is or how long it takes. When can I ring back? Try in 30 minutes. They ring back and its the same thing over again three more times! Except on the last time they ask how long is he going to be? How long is a piece of string lady! (well that was what I was thinking)!

I mean seriously come on, you're on a farm you know what its like!

Oh and another thing... Stop emailing I hate it, they aren't for me!

Now look at the bottom of the page and see my new features!

I swear if that phone rings again and...

its not for me, I will scream...

I was sitting here finishing up my other post, and was thinking "I so hope today is a lot quieter" and as soon as I thought that my cell goes off! I mean WTF! I am over it, let it be finished!

Who would have thought my husband would be so popular in the Dairy Industry!

Well... enough complaining, I am going to go get dressed, then take Monty for a walk (might have a drink/breakfast first... Tummy just protested)!

I will update this post when I get back...

I am excited this morning and I don't know why!

HELL YES... I HAVE EVERY REASON TO BE EXCITED

<----- See that shiny new ticker over there... That is February Major Challenge starting today!

  

I just did 3999 steps in 30 minutes... That is 4kms is 30 minutes... That is 7.5ish minutes per km... And that equals a very excited but may be it tired ME! Not to mention I also did my first rep of 2minute run and 4minute walk before hand (not included) in the steps (doh!)

Today is a very good day so far!

I will update this post after lunch!...

Down the drain with my second reps... now done 6050 steps done and dusted! So I have only 3 more reps left for the first week challenge! Also my arvo nap of 2 hours done and dusted! Time to get into the last reps....

I think I should always be like this... Its so awesome :)

Go Jakel and Hyde on SOMEONE ELSE ass!

TAKE YOUR STUPID CRAPPY HEAT INDUCED MOOD OUT ON SOMEONE ELSE!

I brought something off Trade Me and the seller went all Jakel and Hyde on my ass, and I was like what the hell! You are being rude and unhelpful. Then got an apology!

But she wasn't the only one, I have had 3 others today do that, and I am left sitting here going WTF!

SO in 2 hours I will be doing another day of the challenge and we are all certain Huia is trying to kill us by this!

I will report back later tonight (by updatig this blog so keep an eye out)...

Okay didn't end up going out for the run or walk... we yet again got in an dated with phone calls, funny enough one from our actual boss, asking if it could slow down on the reference giving... Um, we cant help that LOL...

Anyway Huia Campbell rocks, 10pm phone call to let us know she has a car we can borrow for the day when we head down south, meant I could stop number crunching and go to bed lol! It is amazing to have friends like that. We are hoping to to be back in Christchurch at least a hour before our flights so we can have a proper catch up with Huia.

Well that was about it for Last night... Today is a new day and time for a new blog entry!

GO HUIA...except when your trying to kill me....

Yum Yum!

Raw Mixture!

 Yum Yum! Stuffed Kumera!

Yummy Wraps!

Personal Vent!

- PAUL

Its to hard to explain how he makes me feel... Its to amazing to describe... Its to real for it too be fake... Its too Right for it to be wrong... Its like a fairy tale but so true! Its true he is the only person that can make my heart go fast and slow at the sometime!

This will never change! Even when you act like a tosser!

ventingasaman.blogspot.com - you are my man and for ever! 

Why cant it be like "BAM and its GONE"

Well I am happy to report that I managed to do the first day of week one yesterday...

However I nearly died but that is okay too... until Paul said not once but twice... "its really sad that you cant even run 2 mins" Talk about discouraging someone... Man I was stoked that I even finished it even though the first min I was ready to quit.

He made me feel so bad about myself and it drew up so many unwanted feelings. Talk about a new low. I am so sure that if anyone else had said it I would have poked fun back, but it wasn't just anyone it was my rock that said it. Upon reflecting on it today, I was quick to realise that Paul actually hasn't said anything nice to me in 3 days. I know its getting close to this Mothers 4th Death Anniversary but surely he would know his mum would be terribly upset that he is treating me this way. I cant not shake this feeling its so horrible, I am I even think I am being Over The Top! I mean they are only words, why does it hurt so bloody much?

But did you also know there is an up side to all of this and that being Paul actually cleaned the entire house today and is just about to fix Montys kennel and mow the driveway (guilt I know - but I don't want him to feel that way)...

But today is another day, just waiting for it to cool down, then off I go again with video camera on hand to tape Paul running....

6 week challenge

Below is 30 min a day in total you need too spend doing this

WEEK 1 - Run 2min Walk 4min x5

WEEK 2 - Run 3min Walk 3min x5

WEEK 3 - Run 5min Walk 2.5min x4

WEEK 4 - Run 7min Walk 3 min x3

WEEK 5 - Run 8min Walk 2 min x3

WEEK 6 - Goal 1 too run for 20 min non stop

I have done a special weigh in this morning - as today is one day of week one...

Current weight 114.4kg!

Not super impressed with that its a 600g gain!

This will be in conjunction with my normal Zumba and walks.

So here we go!




(thanks Huia for the Challenge)

Pictorial

1990 - 3 Years Old

Eating Cheese and sitting with Style!

1997 - 8 Years Old

Sliding down the Water Slide with a Broken Arm!

2007 - New Years Eve -19

85kgs

 Rocking it with Style

2008 - Labour Weekend - 20
59kgs
a year before my wedding

Beginning of 2009! - 21

65kg

10 months til my wedding!

2009 - Labour Weekend - 21
92kg
First Kiss as A married couple!

 2010 - 22 Years Old

105kgs

Rocking it at Beach with Friends and Family!

2011 - 23 Years Old!
117.5kgs
This is the beginning of the Year!

This what I need to fix! I want to transgress the years back wards to 2007!

Not Giving Up Just Yet...

"Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail."

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you recall a few posts ago I mentioned the brick wall being adamant on beating... well it just about did...

It wasn't a great feeling, it was one of complete defeat, of nothing could hurt even more, the feeling of letting my new friends down, letting my husband down, all that completely upset me, until my friend Trish asked me not to give up for her, for Paul and finally for myself... That hurt to be honest, I never knew this journey meant so much to everyone else... When I told her that I never do anything for myself, she turned around and said nothing will EVER change if you don't do it for yourself, maybe that is where you are failing.

That got me thinking and quite frankly upset me more, but for reasons I didn't know, then while lying in bed that night it dawned on me, I was doing it for myself, and it hurt so much because I was failing, Little did I know, that I wasn't, because everyday that I wasn't failing, because I kept going and that meant I was actually winning.

Am I happy with myself, well to be honest NO I am not, why might you ask... Well I will tell you...

Not because I cant seem to shift this stupid annoying shakiness that is my body, but because I was willing to give up on myself, not a very cool feeling! My family gave up on me (over the truth) and here I was about to do the same thing without realizing it. Talk about major burn!

So here I am, after another milking still weighing a kg more then yesterday PFFTY, willing to keep going and kept losing or gaining the weight, this brick wall may have thought it had me, but with my friends and Paul will never let it happen... They wont allow it and neither will I... Why....

AND

A Start in Mini Goal Ideas!

I have started thinking about what goals I can aim for in the short term I have no real reward in mind, so when the time comes, I will decide what I would like :) As you know my starting weight was 117.5kg, and currently at 114kg... So here are some goals to achieve!

112.5kg - 5kg down (this I would love to be by the mid of Feb)!
107.5kg - 10kg down (this I would love to be by the end of Feb)!
102.5kg - 15kg down (this I would love to be by the mid of March)!
97.5kg - 20kg down (this I would love to be by the beginning of April)!
92.5kg - 25kg down (this I would love to be by the end of the May)!

and my final Goal weight will be 85kg and I will be down 32.5kg!

Then I will re-look at my journey and go from there!

Paul has decided that he will just join in my celebrating when I reach my mini goals :D

Clearly I am coming addicted!

This is what 8 cups of water looks like! Its pretty cool :D

So GOALS for this February!

1. Drink One of THOSE a Day!
2. Walk every second day at least 10000 steps
3. When Zumba comes do it once every second day
4. When Belly Dancing comes do it the other days! 
5. Stay under my calorie goal 5 times a week 
6. Drop a clothing size to a comfortable NZ 16

The important stuff is lighted in Red because it will help me remind focus!

Cheers to me!

Only Joking.... You oldies x






This time CHEERS TO THE NEW ME!!!

Take A Look At What I am Doing!

These are totally awesome!
I just made them on VistaPrint -- They are one mug front and Back!...
They are a little expensive though LOL

$45.44 for 3 and that doesn't include shipping!




But hey if you want one let me know!

I would be about $16 including Shipping!

I am also looking at t-shirts with a couple of funny weight loss cartoon, I think there is nothing better then owning what you are trying to achieve!

Oh and a tumbler too!

New Blog Details!

Hey Guys! 

I have just made a new blog to help my friends with weight loss and not having to spend $100's of dollars on the Gym! 

http://personallymadegymideas.blogspot.com/ -- this the link and I am looking at adding authors so we can each put our ideas down with our names at the bottom! 

PLEASE help ME!!!!

I can...

Move it! Shake it! Jiggle it! Wiggle it!
Thats my arms, legs and tummy, it actually kind of revolts me!

Bump it! Thump it! Stomp it! Womp it!! 
This would be my head every time I run into that brick wall, which by the way is determined to beat me!

Did you know that your head is 5% of your body weight! For me that 4.4kg of useless weight!

After Thursday and my shock breakdown (10 months of holding everything in), I am too scared to exercise, leaving the house is a scary thought for me... 
I have tried and tired to think of mini goals to set myself, and its not happening (nothing at the moment excites me)! 
I am feeling pretty unmotivated! 

I have lots of lovely ladies supporting me, but this stupid mental brick wall is killing me...
Haha as I type this I hear Trish going... Walk around you boundary for 5 mins!

Hopefully tonight Paul drag me to the beach and we can go for a walk... In the meantime, I have brought an uppercut/punch bag and gloves! I cant wait for it to come so I can paste a family photo on it and beat the crap of out it!